Totally Awkward Tuesday

This Totally Awkward Tuesday post is brought to you by the legendary Tova Darling.

Sometimes I really want to say, "My dear readers, I am running out of awkward stories for you!" But in reality, I just don't want to go into the vault of very, very awkward stories. But now, I must.

When I was in the peak of my middle school years, I was in a group from my church that got to go on a trip to Georgia.

I think that going on the trip was awkward enough. I was probably the weirdest, ugliest, and strangest kid there. But yet, these people still faked liking me. Maybe they were being for real, but whatever, back to the story.

So after the trip, we stopped at a beach.

Now, my readers know what Moxie does when she goes to the beach, right? Yes, I hunt for shells. So I did just that. I didn't find much worth a crap, but I really wanted to take one or two home as a souvenir.

But, I was addressed with a problem.

The group leader had called me up to the side, "Moxie, you can only take one shell home."

"What?! Why!?!" I cried out. "I want to take them as souvenirs to my parents, my grandma, and my nephew."

"Moxie, they are going to stink up the car. Please, just put them back," he said, and walked away.

Now, in my childhood years, I thought I was sneaky. There was the ceramic incident, which I got away with. I could totally get away with this too!

So, I put my shells in a cup, and wrapped the cup in a sweater. And I had a big ball. It was huge. And obvious. I made it home, and I felt horrible. I disobeyed my group leader. But oh well, I got my shells, right?

A few years later, as I got home from the beach, I went to youth group. I was talking with one of the other leaders there, and said group leader was there too. Then, after I said that I hunted for shells while I was on vacation, he blurted out...

"YEAH LIKE THAT TIME YOU TOOK THOSE SHELLS EVEN THOUGH I TOLD YOU NOT TO?"

Oh crap. What do I say?

"Oh... Heheh... Yeah, I was wondering when you'd bring that up?!"

Smooth move Moxie.

None the less, I am MUCH more picky about shell hunting that I once was. There HAVE been times where I went to the beach and didn't pick anything up. AREN'T YOU PROUD OF ME NOW?! :)

And I'm sure you're wondering what happened to the cup of "prohibited" shells, aren't you?

Well, they are still sitting in that cup.

If you are reading this, Mr. Group Leader, I am really sorry I disobeyed you. I shouldn't of. It wasn't worth the guilt. And the awkwardness. But mostly the awkwardness.

Totally Awkward Tuesday- Hippie Glasses Equals NO GO

I have been so bummed out that I was unable to participate in Tova Darling's Totally Awkward Tuesday for two whole weeks. But now that I'm back, I shall share yet another totally awkward puzzle piece of my life.

Now I will take you back to my middle school days. Back in middle school, I was an odd ball. I was obsessed with black clothes, skirts, and for a period of time, had a pair of pink tinted glasses. They were, in fact, so UGLY, that Google does not a have a good picture example because they would just break the internet.

School started that 7th grade year. I was out of my very much awkward phase where I didn't have any friends at all, but I was still crammed in a shell that I am no longer stuck in today. In a very bad attempt to look cool [and improve my eyesight, for they were REAL perscription glasses] and up my popularity with my friends, I wore my ugly pink glasses with stride.

Anyway, I had this very weird teacher in the 7th grade. He was a strange man, poor fellow had some injuries occur to him while he was in some war, and that's why he was so weird. But still, he probably makes up forty percent of my totally awkward stories. We'll call him Mr. Weird Teacher, or Mr. WT for short.

I had Mr. WT forth period. After lunch, I rolled into his class with my best friend, Kae, and Rae, who I just befriended.

Mr. WT notices my glasses. "Hey Moxie, I like your glasses."

I'm satisfied, although I had no idea how weird Mr. WT was at the time, so I didn't know what was coming would be a struggle through the whole year. "Thanks!" I say.

Mr. WT would eventually mention that the glasses I was wearing reminded him of the hippie days. This may of been cool to him, because he was totally jealous that I was rocking the hippie look he never go to wear because he was stuck in the war, but this was not something to be overlooked by my teasing classmates.

Every time Mr. WT would see me, he would call me a hippie. Every time one of my classmates would see me, they'd do the same. I remember going home crushed because of this. This continued on the whole year, regardless of me putting the shamed glasses to rest two weeks later. They were totally a waste of money.

I look back on this and laugh. I really do. Back then, I actually thought it was an insult to be a hippie. Now, not so much.

But still, those glasses are ugly. If I could actually find them, I don't think you could possibly pay me to wear them. Lesson learned, unnaturally tinted glass equals NO GO.